December 30

I feel as though I just watched the world’s most shocking movie and as surreal as it is, it will happen! Where will I be on that day? Will my faith stand with the pressure of death or death to my family? Will I take the mark or will I die for Jesus? I will remain true to the Lord, there is no doubt, and I want to be in that army that fights although I don’t think it is going to be like we think it will be. As shock waves of dread go through my soul because of the immensity of it all, there is something that has risen, something beyond valiant and bold. What am I living for? Where am I going? I have given my life to the service of my King and it is obvious for all to see. Yet, I know within myself there still remains selfishness and self interest. Oh that it would vanish, but that may be the bloodiest war of all. Do I trust in Babylon (the system of the world) or do I trust in God? Of course God, but do I ever look to Babylon to… It seems to me, however long the saints would stay during this tribulation, it won’t be easy. Am I being prepared for suffering with the way I lead my life? Am I preparing others for tough choices of life and living with how I preach, lead and disciple? Denial of self is the preparation for every type of trial. Are we learning to deny ourselves? It is hard when you live in a country that has everything, and if you can’t afford it, charge it or apply for aid. Oh God, help me to be a man of self denial. I not only want to be ready to endure patiently trouble of every kind, but I want to live an example life. I am 50 and I feel I am so far away from that life! Yet, with your power, your strength, your love, I can become that man. Within me in your seed, your Spirit – I am that man!